No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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