On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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