Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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