eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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