I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
