This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
