me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize