Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish you could order shots online.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
