don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
