We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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