my mouth tastes like poor choices
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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