super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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