I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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