so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
