he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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