Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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