The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
