Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
