So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
