Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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