Screwed.edu
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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