sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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