please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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