i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
