His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
