Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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