that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
