his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
