You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
