I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sext me about skeletons
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
