i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
