my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
