the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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