he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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