someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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