I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
