uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
