Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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