I think im going to throw up on grandma
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
