Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
