First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
