ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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