Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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