I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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