he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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