On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
why didn't you poke me back
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
