1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
