She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
smell my finger.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Will exercising make me less horny?
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