so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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