Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
