the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
