Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
