Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
