Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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