im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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