you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
