i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
