I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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