i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
