paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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