She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
