we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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