i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
