See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
