dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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