Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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