I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
