Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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