Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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