Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
