Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
