U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize