I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
