Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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