Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
