I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
