Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
