You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
