I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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