I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
