i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize