what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
